|Visiting Central Asia May 2015|
BUT LORD...I was planning on finally buying a house in Indianapolis this summer!
BUT LORD...I have a role in our ministry here that I enjoy and people with whom I know and enjoy working. And besides that, there's so much on my plate and who will step into my role? And what will I do when I return?
BUT LORD, my parents are getting older and I will miss out on a whole year with my nieces and nephews who change so quickly and I love so dearly. Plus, my oldest nephew and his wife are having a baby this year and I wouldn't be able to meet her before I leave.
BUT LORD, I did not personally do well when I lived in that city 10 years ago. I had health issues that snowballed into emotional and spiritual difficulties. What if that happens again?!
BUT LORD, I would be the only single on my team and I would have to live by myself for the first time. Can I do that?
BUT LORD, I'm 38 and single! If I do this, I will surely not meet anyone or have the chance to date or get married before turning 40! (As if I had already forgotten this '38 and Single...minded...' post I had just written!)
BUT...YOU...ARE...LORD. And if I truly believe that, and if I truly believe that you are calling me back to this place, you will provide all that I need in your ways and in your timing. Again, help me to be 'single-minded' on You Jesus.
Eventually, the hamster wheel of questions and fears were calmed as the Lord continually fixed my eyes on Him in the midst of His call to return to this city I love, even at 38 and single. So the following January (just a couple months prior to my 39th birthday) I moved back to Central Asia, half wondering what in the world I was doing but mostly wondering what He was doing (or going to do) in my life. And looking back, while the last year had it's challenges, I have no regrets!
|A morning walk my last week in Central Asia|
I've never chosen a 'word for the year'. To be honest I've always thought it felt a bit like another form of a New Year's Resolution...another thing that for me personally just felt like a trendy and futile attempt to 'better myself' that would quickly fade. But this year was different and I began asking the Lord what He would want to be the word, the theme or focus of this next year, this next season, of life. If I was going to have a word for the year, I wanted it to come from Him and not me.
|Enjoying a bike ride on my 40th birthday|
Last year was already an opportunity for me to live this out...returning overseas to a place where I had previously lived (10 years prior) but not done well physically, emotionally and spiritually. I had questions and fears, but I'm so glad I followered Him back there so that He could write a different story this time!
|Celebrating as the birthday princess with my niece!|