5 years ago, I entered 2017 asking the Lord for a theme, a focus, for the year – this was new for me. I was wrapping up a year living overseas and returning to the States. The words and theme I very clearly heard from Him – Full of Faith and Free from Fear. I was turning 40 that year, and that’s how I wanted to live – full of faith and free from fear. I had no idea how I would be challenged, stretched and grown to live that way over the years to come.
As that year came to a close and 2018 drew nearer, there were a lot of changes and new things in life. I sensed the Lord calling me to Linger and Listen – to slow down, read more, listen better, learn from those around me, talk less, even write or post less.
Then came 2019, and I seemed to be walking through a lot of Waiting in several areas of life. That continued into 2020. I didn’t like it, but consistently felt as though the Lord kept telling me to Wait – Wait on Him.
What I didn’t know was that 2020 would prove to be one of the most challenging years of my life personally and would quickly turn its focus into Grieving. Wait and Grieve – 2 words, neither of which are very inviting or comfortable. Who likes to wait? And who wants to grieve? Yet this life, this world, is filled with so much waiting and so much grieving.
As 2020 turned to 2021 I heard the Lord calling me to Hope, Trust and Wait on Him to do a New Thing in my life. 2020 was filled with so much loss and grief and change. 2021 turned out to bring many new things to life as I got engaged in April and married October 2nd! I became not only a dairy farmer’s wife, but a stepmom to 4 kids. There have been a LOT of NEW things in life – marriage, house, kids, not to mention lots of grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, dishes and laundry! Sometimes the amount of ‘newness’ in life is overwhelming, although good. I just have to hope, trust and wait on Him as He brings about these new things – in my life and in my heart.
So as I come into 2022, and look back on these last 5 years, I ask the Lord, “Where do you want to take me this year? What do you want to do in and through me?”
This Christmas I was drawn to common words around advent: HOPE, PEACE and JOY. I have been drawn to them because I have honestly struggled to experience them in hard life circumstances these past couple years. There’s been a lot of loss and change in life, and a lot of circumstances in life have just been…well, hard.
But I have been reminded and challenged that HOPE, PEACE and JOY are found and rooted in Jesus, not in my circumstances.
This fall I spent time in the book of Habakkuk. This is man and prophet who knew hard life circumstances, injustice, and even impending destruction. He also knew God and he brought his honest cries and questions and thoughts to God. Yet he did so while acknowledging who God is and what is true of Him. And at the close of this short book he proclaims,
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.
(Habakkuk 3:17-19)
Growing up on a dairy farm, and now married to a dairy farmer, this passage has rich meaning to me. In fact, I asked our pastor to incorporate it into our wedding ceremony because I wanted a reminder that no matter what, even if the fields produce no food and the cattle stalls are empty, we can choose to rejoice in the Lord.
This past December, as I read and meditated on these common advent themes of HOPE, PEACE and JOY, I was convicted how often my sense of these are rooted in my circumstances. And when those circumstances are shaken, so is my hope, peace and/or joy.
How do you experience hope when your expectations for a situation or relationship are shattered, and you feel hopeless? Or peace when your circumstances so easily lead to anxious thoughts and feelings? Or joy when you are experiencing great loss?
The sobering news is that hope, peace and joy are not, and cannot be, promised in our earthly circumstances, or even in our relationships, because they are broken and unpredictable. Sure, we might experience hope, peace or joy in our circumstances for a time or a season, but eventually we will be disappointed, let down, hurt, or we will disappoint or let others down. (Because we’re not perfect – sorry if no one’s ever told you that before!)
But the good news is that hope, peace and joy ARE found and promised in the person of Jesus, despite our circumstances! And He’s not fickle or broken or unpredictable! He is sure and steady. He is both good and sovereign. So even when I’m hurt in a relationship, even when things don’t go my way, when I find myself in a boat in the middle of a storm (like the disciples), when I find myself surrounded by injustices (like Habakkuk), when I find myself in a whirlwind of unmet expectations or desires in life, I can choose to cling to Jesus. I can choose HOPE, PEACE and JOY by FAITH.
It’s not easy. But it IS a choice.
So this is my prayer for 2022…
When circumstances are crashing down around me, may I choose to HOPE in Jesus and not hopelessness in my circumstances. When things seem uncertain, may I choose the PEACE of Christ and not anxious thoughts. When I feel overwhelmed by life, may I choose the JOY of the Lord and not despair. In all things, may I choose to turn and fix my eyes on Jesus, trusting and obeying Him through my life circumstances.
AMEN.
God will bless you Greatly and in unexpected ways. I really needed to read this!
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