My 3 Favorite Books This Year...

I love learning!

BUT, I am not a fast reader. And reading at night has never really worked for me - I just turn the light out and go to sleep! I always have many more books that I WANT to read than I can possibly get through. Yet I value reading because I value learning new insights, stories, voices that are different from my own. So I have learned that I need to carve out time and prioritize reading.

Listening to books on an audio app on my phone has been a game changer for me! I spend a lot of time in the car, so listening to audio books is great! I can even listen while I am getting ready in the morning, walking outside, working out at the gym, cooking, cleaning. I have discovered it is a great substitute to just listening to music or leaving the TV on.

So as the weather turns colder and you cozy up with your favorite cup of coffee, tea or hot cider and a book, here are a few of my favorite books I read this year that I highly recommend!

12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You, by Tony Reinke

Our phones are changing us, it is true! And ironically, I LISTENED to this entire book ON MY PHONE! But I also bought the actual book because I thought it was that good. I knew my phone was changing me, but this book was a challenging reminder of how and why. This book doesn't just address WHAT I do on my phone, but also WHY. It gets at the heart of why I look at my phone frequently, why I can't wait to text someone back, why I post something on social media, and then keep checking for 'likes' or 'comments'. And if you are raising kids or teenagers in this digital world, this is a must read! Our phones are a great tool, an excellent resource to connecting with others and accessing information. But it's just a tool, and sometimes I allow that tool in my hands to steal from me the people and life and moments right before me. Even as I write this, I am thinking, it's time to read this book again!

The Church In Babylon: Heeding the Call to Be a Light in the Darkness

by Erwin Lutzer

I was encouraged, challenged...encouraged and challenged again! Erwin Lutzer compares the Church in America today to God's people living in Babylon, asking the question, "How do we live faithfully in a country becoming more and more hostile to our faith in Christ?" He points to examples of faithful God-fearing men and women in the time of Babylon like Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. He states in the first chapter, "Like Israel in Babylon, our challenge is to impact the culture without being spiritually destroyed by it." This book is a timely reminder to us as individual followers of Christ as well as for the church as a whole regarding our call to be sent into the world, to engage and impact the culture and world around us while standing firm in our faith.

A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, by W. Phillip Keller

Growing up on a farm, I love a book with plenty of farming or agricultural stories and analogies. This entire book is written from the perspective of a sheep farmer, looking at Psalm 23. As September approached I decided to read through the first 40 Psalms. When I came to the 23rd Psalm I began reading this book, which had been sitting in my book 'wish list' for years. The writer brings so much context to each line of this Psalm, pointing out that David was a shepherd and was likely thinking through much of this perspective as a shepherd himself when he wrote this Psalm. This is a short book, but each chapter had me meditating on my relationship with my Good Shepherd, grateful for how He leads me beside still waters, how He restores my soul, how He guides me through paths of righteousness, how He comforts me, how He prepares a table before me, and so much more!




And if I were to tack on a favorite Bible study this year...

Included in Christ: Living a New Story from Ephesians

by Heather Holleman

I already love the book of Ephesians, but I especially love how Heather Holleman brings Paul's writings to the church in Ephesus to life. She challenges us to see and write both our Shadow Narratives (who we used to be) and our Redemption Stories (who we are now)! This is a great study for individual or group Bible study use!

So what are your favorite books you read (or listened to!) this year? I would love to hear!

Linger and Listen...

Over two years ago I sensed the Lord calling me to be 'Full of Faith & Free from Fear', especially as I entered into the year of celebrating my 40th birthday. I had returned from a year overseas, a year that challenged me to deeper steps of faith, free from fear. 2017 unfolded to be a difficult year in many respects, facing changes, transitions and losses that were unexpected as I returned to the States.  I spent more time in the barn doing daily chores on our family's dairy farm that year than I ever have, which allowed for plenty of 'think' time. But as the year wore on, it was as if I kept hearing this soft and subtle whisper, "Listen" from the Lord, "Linger, and Listen".

My view on the farm where I spent many days reading
and listening to the Lord during my Sabbatical Fall 2017.

September 2017 I welcomed my first Sabbatical after 16 years in full-time ministry, and I was convicted by how busy and loud I tend to keep my life, whether working, talking to others, or on my computer or phone. Solitude is hard for me. Silence is not comfortable. But why?? I grew up the youngest of five on a dairy farm. Our house was always busy and often loud. I think I learned at a young age that 'she who speaks loudest, longest and most persistently wins!' Did I mention that I have 3 older sisters?! ;)

I have come to learn that I thrive in crazy and in chaos. It's 'normal' and 'comfortable' to me. Yet, every Sunday afternoon everyone in our house rested. I strongly disliked Sunday afternoons as a kid - I often remember my mom telling me I didn't have to take a nap, but I did have to find something quiet to do for the afternoon and not bother anyone. How I couldn't wait to hear the stirring of my mom or dad or someone in the house when they would get up from their Sunday nap!

Don't get me wrong, as an adult I LOVE a good nap! And I love some solid alone time (but not TOO much!). Yet even in solitude, I often stay 'busy'. It's hard for me to 'cease working'. There's a reason it took me 16 years in ministry before taking my first Sabbatical.

Even in conversations, my natural (usually unaware) tendency is that I am generally more likely to talk than to listen. The past several years I have asked the Lord to grow me in the area of being more 'verbally self-aware' because I have so often been told how I'm a 'talker' or not a great listener. Hearing how that affects others saddens me. But I struggled with how to change something that is second-nature and that I am often blind to until hindsight. I'm verbal, I'm a communicator (both written and verbal), I'm a relational extrovert. I  know these things about me and they are part of the way God in His Sovereignty and Goodness created me as His child!

But how do I maintain these things about me and use them for His glory without failing to provide a space to listen - to God and to others?  It's not that I intentionally talk as much as possible. But it is a lack of intentionality to listen. So as I came out of my Sabbatical that fall and entered into 2018, I asked the Lord to show me what it looks like to intentionally LINGER - rest, cease from work, maybe sit in His presence without words, and even take a Sunday nap without guilt. :)

I asked Him to teach me how to LISTEN, truly Listen, from the heart, to God and to others; not just listen from my head or my ears, but from my heart. I asked Him to quiet my mind so that I can make space to hear His voice, His words. And I asked Him to help me hear others, to know when to listen, when to share, when to ask questions and what questions to ask. I desire to learn how to listen, not just for my benefit of hearing and knowing information, but for others to have a safe place to share their story.

As a result, I wrote and posted a little less, and tried to read or listen a little more. It's amazing what you hear, from God, from His Word and from others, when you linger long enough to listen, really listen. I'm not saying I have arrived! I still battle the stirring drive to busyness, and frequent talking. Some days I'm a better listener than others. But I'm learning. I'm learning to linger in Jesus' presence. I'm learning to listen from my heart, to God and to others.

See you Later Friend...

Have you ever been stuck, but didn’t know you were stuck?  It’s like when you’re spinning your tires in the mud, but you don’t know it.  You go nowhere fast, just deeper, and dirtier, in the mud.  The last 18 months I’ve been stuck.  I didn’t know I was stuck, but I was.  18 months ago, June 17, 2017, Nancy Hertz Just met Jesus.  I lost a dear friend, but I somehow unknowingly failed to grieve her loss until it caught up with me these past few months.  Grief is a funny thing – often unexpected and unpredictable, almost always unwanted, and yet so needed and wholly cathartic.

This fall I found myself bursting into tears at unpredictable times, usually in my car or during powerful times of worship at church or in the middle of a conference, both angry and sad that she’s gone.  And I don't just mean a few tears, I mean an all out uncontrollable ugly cry at times.

I was out of the country at the time of Nancy's memorial service in August 2017 and not able to attend.  I always intended to sit down and watch it, and somehow, that day never came.  As I shared this with a friend recently, she gently looked at me and said, “Maybe you need to schedule a ‘grief day’.”  Hmmm…  I didn’t like the sound of that, but I knew it was necessary.

This past Monday was that day.  To be honest, on one hand I dreaded this day and on the other hand, anticipated it.  It felt like I was choosing to walk myself into a dark valley, not knowing what emotions or thoughts it would stir, or for how long.  And yet, I knew it was necessary to move forward.  I wasn't sure how else to process this grief, except to write my friend Nancy a much overdue letter.  I reminisced the 12 years of friendship the Lord gave me with this special friend and her family, and the countless memories mostly while baby-sitting their lively 4 kids, who have become like nieces and nephews to me.  They have become my family away from family over the years.

It was a gray, cloudy day outside, seemingly matching how I felt in my soul going into the day.  As the day wore on the rain slowly began to break through the clouds, as if reflecting the internal release of my soul and the tears down my face as I remembered, processed, grieved.  I laughed, cried and worshiped throughout the day as I typed.

At one point I watched a video of Nancy from November 2016 when she was honored at a conference.  At the time I was living overseas and watching the conference online, an 8 hour time zone difference away.  I was struggling with the fact that I was living overseas the year she was diagnosed with this ugly cancer, not able to be here, not knowing if I would see her again.  But then I heard her speak these words through tears,

“I know many of you guys have prayed that the Lord would heal me and that’s right and good and keep asking the Lord, but what I really really want is for the nations to be reached so that Jesus will come back so that we can all be together.  ‘Cause I’m pretty excited to see Him face to face and the only thing that would make it better is to see Him face to face with my husband and my children and all of you, so please go out there and reach the nations so that Jesus can come back.”

In that moment, it was as though she were reaching through the screen to the other side of the world and telling me to keep on keeping on, even though she was literally fighting for her life.  Her words continue to stick with me today, over 2 years later.  And by God's grace, He granted me opportunities to see and spend time with her in the months before He took her home.

I thought I processed her life, and her death.  But now that I look back over the last 18 months I realize that I was in denial over her loss in some ways because my day in and day out life didn’t initially change.  And there were regrets I wrestled with over the past year.  I wished I would have said “yes” to baby-sitting more often.  I wished I would have told her how much she and her open arms into their family meant to me.  I wanted to tell her good-bye, and yet when you’re praying for a miracle in your friend’s life, you don’t want every good-bye to be a heavy one and you don’t know which good-bye will be the last one.  So you tend to leave with "See you later friend."

But the beautiful thing about Nancy is that even if she were sitting in front of me right now and I said all these things to her, she would tell me that it's not "Good-bye", but it IS "See you later."  Nancy loved Jesus so much, she knew Him personally, and now she gets to be with Him...every...day...every...moment.

I cherish the memories friend.  I love you.  I miss you.  I’m so glad you’re fully healed and dancing in the presence of the King.  I look forward to joining you around the throne one day.

See you later friend,

Lisa

Meeting Jesus in Walmart...

"Guess I'll be having 'church' in Walmart this morning..." I text my sister.  It had been a frustrating 12 hours.  After spending most of the previous 3 months in Ohio I just returned back home to Indianapolis the evening prior.  As I was unpacking my car in the driveway I realized my back tire was flat...like, the-rim-was-sitting-on-the-driveway flat.  Great.  A flat tire.  I drove back Saturday evening so I could be back in time to go to church Sunday morning and the church picnic, and reconnect with church friends I had not seen all summer.  "No problem" I thought, "at least I'm not stranded on the road with a flat tire at 10pm.  My car is sitting in the driveway and I can go to bed.  I'll just call AAA in the morning, have them put my spare on and I'll be off to church.  I can deal with this tire thing on Monday.  No problem..."

After realizing my AAA membership had expired and restarting it online, I called AAA the next morning.  He would be at my house in 35 minutes...great, I can still make it to church on time.  I'll just spend a little time reading my Bible and drinking my coffee in the back yard until he comes.  He arrives as expected, but can't get my tire off (unfortunately I have been here before with this issue).  He kindly puts air in the tire so I can drive it somewhere to get it fixed.  Quick, who's open on a Sunday morning to fix tires??!  I remember there's a Walmart 5 minutes away with an auto center and I'm off.  Not how I envisioned this morning in my head, but I'll just be late to church.  "No problem??"

Thankfully they're open and not busy on a Sunday morning.  I'll grab a couple things and wait while they fix it.  Just as I'm grabbing a container of those small muffins that look too glistening to be edible I hear my name called to return to the Auto Center.  They got the tire off, but can't fix the flat.  But they can put a new tire on.  Quick decision making is not my forte, but I'm stuck.  I just want to get to church!  Yes, put the new tire on.  "This was not my plan for the morning..."

After grabbing a couple items I return to the waiting area.  I look at my phone...church is now 30 minutes in.  I'll probably miss the whole service; at least I'll make it for the lunch.  As I'm grumbling in my heart, sending texts, estimating what time I'll arrive, I'm also questionning why I even drove back to Indy last night.  I should have just stayed in Ohio for the evening and driven back on Sunday.  Then I hear the 'still small voice'...the daily Scripture on my phone's Bible app was still on my screen.  "This God - His way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him." (Psalm 18:30).  "This God - His way is perfect" I thought.

I take a deep breath, set down my phone, open my Bible to Psalms and begin to read, asking Him what He might have for me in this momentary inconvenience of a flat tire on a Sunday morning and having 'church' right there in the Auto Care waiting room of Walmart.  Why is it that a little thing like an unexpected flat tire can suddenly make me feel as though my entire day is ruined?  Why is an unexpected change in my expectations for my weekend, or just morning, cause for questionning my every decision?

Six days prior I had just led a devotional for a group of ministry team leaders, sharing with them what the Lord taught me over the course of the summer through the book of Jonah.  One of those lessons was His grace and compassion for the mariners who are on the ship with Jonah, the easily overlooked 'bystanders' in this story.  I had been asking the Lord to show me the 'easily overlooked bystanders', the 'mariners' in my life that are all too easy to blow right by because I am too focused on my own agenda or schedule or task.  Yet here I was once again paying no attention to those in front of and around me because my day had escaped from my plans, from my control (as if it was ever under my 'control'!).

"I need to be thankful" I thought.  I pulled out my journal and began to write each place that I could thank Him from the last 12 hours...

"Thank you that I made it home safely last night.  Thank you for AAA this morning.  Thank you for making it to Walmart, who was both close and open this morning.  Thank you for providing for me financially to purchase AAA online last night and a tire this morning.  Thank you in advance for this day..."

I had 'church' in Walmart.  Jesus met me there, in the midst of the everyday, in the midst of my self-centeredness and my desire for control.

Oh, and I did make it to lunch and it was a beautiful Sabbath day.  It wasn't the day I planned, but His ways are perfect, not mine.

Forty - Full of Faith & Free from Fear!

This was the year I turned (gulp) 40...April 12, 2017.  But it's just a number, right?!  Well, to be completely honest, I have not enjoyed most of my birthdays in my late 30s and was nearly dreading this one the last couple years.  It has definitely felt like more than 'just a number'.  But I need to back up a bit...

Visiting Central Asia May 2015

2 years ago (around the time of my 38 and Single...minded... post) I took a 10 day trip overseas to a city in Central Asia that I dearly love and had lived in the past.  I was reminded of why I fell in love with that city and people 15 years prior.  During that trip I sensed the Lord tugging at my heart to return for another year to work with university students.  At first I thought this was absolutely crazy, and for the next couple months as I considered and prayed about returning, all the reasons NOT to go ran through my mind over and over like a hamster spinning it's wheel...

BUT LORD...I was planning on finally buying a house in Indianapolis this summer!

BUT LORD...I have a role in our ministry here that I enjoy and people with whom I know and enjoy working.  And besides that, there's so much on my plate and who will step into my role?  And what will I do when I return?

BUT LORD, my parents are getting older and I will miss out on a whole year with my nieces and nephews who change so quickly and I love so dearly.  Plus, my oldest nephew and his wife are having a baby this year and I wouldn't be able to meet her before I leave.

BUT LORD, I did not personally do well when I lived in that city 10 years ago.  I had health issues that snowballed into emotional and spiritual difficulties.  What if that happens again?!

BUT LORD, I would be the only single on my team and I would have to live by myself for the first time.  Can I do that?

BUT LORD, I'm 38 and single!  If I do this, I will surely not meet anyone or have the chance to date or get married before turning 40!  (As if I had already forgotten this '38 and Single...minded...' post I had just written!)

BUT LORD...

BUT...

BUT...YOU...ARE...LORD.  And if I truly believe that, and if I truly believe that you are calling me back to this place, you will provide all that I need in your ways and in your timing.  Again, help me to be 'single-minded' on You Jesus.

Eventually, the hamster wheel of questions and fears were calmed as the Lord continually fixed my eyes on Him in the midst of His call to return to this city I love, even at 38 and single.  So the following January (just a couple months prior to my 39th birthday) I moved back to Central Asia, half wondering what in the world I was doing but mostly wondering what He was doing (or going to do) in my life.  And looking back, while the last year had it's challenges, I have no regrets!

A morning walk my last week in Central Asia

As I neared the end of this year overseas and prepared to leave this place that I dearly love, it seemed that the Lord was guiding me through a bittersweet closure to this season and place.  And preparing to return to the States I again wondered what He would have in store for me in this coming year, especially knowing I was now quickly approaching my 40th birthday.  While the Lord was closing the door to one season of life, I believed He was also preparing to open the door into the next...though it is still somewhat unknown to me.

I've never chosen a 'word for the year'.  To be honest I've always thought it felt a bit like another form of a New Year's Resolution...another thing that for me personally just felt like a trendy and futile attempt to 'better myself' that would quickly fade.  But this year was different and I began asking the Lord what He would want to be the word, the theme or focus of this next year, this next season, of life.  If I was going to have a word for the year, I wanted it to come from Him and not me.

Enjoying a bike ride on my 40th birthday

2017 approached and the words 'faith', 'free' and 'no fear' seemed to be bubbling to the surface.  And slowly the words began fall into place...I'm turning Forty and I want Him to make me Full of Faith and Free from Fear!  I want to be full of faith in Jesus and not in me or in my systems or work that give the illusion of control.  And I want to be free from the fear of 'man' - of what others think, of doing things to please others.  I want to be free from the fear of failure, having the courage to take steps of faith, even if those are blind steps into the unknown.

Last year was already an opportunity for me to live this out...returning overseas to a place where I had previously lived (10 years prior) but not done well physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I had questions and fears, but I'm so glad I followered Him back there so that He could write a different story this time!

Celebrating as the birthday princess with my niece!

As I move into this next season of life, entering my 40s and returning to and setting down more roots in the States, my prayer is that He would continue to make me Full of Faith and Free from Fear in deeper ways in my relationship with Jesus Himself, and in my relationships, words and actions with others.  How I look forward to what He will do in and through me in this 40th year and in this next season of life!

I Voted Today! My Vote Counts! But is that why I Vote?

Why do I really vote?  I feel strongly about exercising my right and privilege to vote, but why?  Because I was raised by parents who always voted at every election and raised me with a high value to exercise such rights as citizens of a country that allows us this right?  Or is it because I know my vote counts and I want to have a voice?  Or so that I can say I voted?  So that I can get that sticker?!

In years past it has been any and all of these reasons, but over the years, especially this year, I have been challenged by the Lord and others in my life to see a slightly different perspective.  Do I really vote because my vote counts? Recently a dear friend said to me, "I don't vote because my vote counts.  But I vote because it's a stewardship and privilege that other believers around the world do not have the opportunity or freedom to do."

Sure it feels good to have a voice and know my voice counts, but that is not really why I vote.  I vote because I believe that I have been blessed with this incredible opportunity and privilege that so many around the world do not have but would love to!  So I want to steward that freedom and privilege well!

Now, I realize that many would argue there is a not a candidate they can get behind and vote 'for' with good conscience in this specific election.  I get that.  But I'm also not going there on this post for various obvious reasons. :)

My point is...I voted, not simply because my vote counts, but because it is an honor and a privilege and, for me, a 'stewardship', as my friend said.  And in the midst of voting...before, during and after....I pray.

God's Word tells us in 1 Timothy 2:1-5:
First of all, then I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.  Thsi is good, and it is pleasing int he sight of God our Savior, who desires all poeple to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.  For there is one God,, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time.

I am reminded that regardless of what happens tomorrow on this election day that our God is GOOD and SOVEREIGN and He is working to further His Kingdom during this time.  I do not know what that will look like, or through whom, but I know that regardless of the results, Jesis is still on the throne and NOTHING can change that fact!

So I will pray for our country, for all those who are in high positions.  I will pray taht believers, especially those in elected positions tomorrow, will lead their lives in ways that allow them opportunities to further His Kingdom here on earth and to lead others to the knowledge of the truth.  Because there is ONE GOD (above any and all countries) and there is ONE MEDIATOR JESUS (above any and all leaders) who gave Himself for all, that is...for every single one of us.

And THAT is the Good News friends!  And THAT is why I vote!

38 and Single...minded...

I could have titled this post '38 and Single', and it would be true, as I just celebrated my 38th birthday in April.  But there’s something that is also true, and that I wish to describe me more than that phrase at this place in life…'38 and Single-minded'.  Not single-minded on marriage or what I do or don’t have.  But single-minded on Jesus.

Sure, some days I wish I were 38 and married, living in a house with kids running around.  And if you asked me at 18 where I would be at 38, that’s probably the life I would have described.  But, for whatever reason, it’s not my current reality.  38 and single is my current reality.  And I HAVE to believe…no, I CHOOSE to believe this is God’s best plan for me.  I choose to believe He's both Sovereign and Good, despite not always liking my earthly circumstances or understanding them.  I may not always understand it and I may not always like it, but I choose to cling to Jesus in the hard things and try to practice a heart of gratitude.

I fight to balance being honest with the Lord with my heart’s desires for marriage with each passing year, and yet cherishing and not wasting the 'gift' of singleness.   And regardless of my marital status or life circumstances, no matter what, I desire to be single-minded on Jesus.  I want to love Him more each day, and walk closer with Him with each year.  I want to love him and know him more at 38 than I did at 37.  And as I enter into this next year of life, I hope that I will love him and know him more at 39 than I do today at 38.

So am I '38 and Single'?  Yes.  Did I expect to be here or am I always thrilled about that?  No.  But do I want or allow it to define me?  Absolutely not.  But by God's grace, may I more importantly be '38 and Single-minded' and not waste a single day of the gift of life, as well as the gift of singleness, that He has granted me.

"...let us run with endurance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." (Hebrews 12:1-2)