How are you grieving the loss?

We have been hit with more change and news from day to day in the past couple weeks than might seem possible to process—case numbers of COVID-19 growing by the day, universities moving classes online and even sending students home for the semester, companies instructing employees to work from home, schools sending students home for an extended ‘spring break’, churches holding services online, and of course everyone stocking up on toilet paper! These are unprecedented times and that brings many unknowns. And unknowns can bring fear of the unknown.

BUT, we serve a God who is KNOWN. And despite the current health crisis we face in our country and around the world, He is still GOOD, and He is still SOVEREIGN. He is the King of the Universe, and He sits on His throne in a sure Kingdom. And we are His beloved children and part of His Kingdom! So what is our role and responsibility as the Church to continue to spread the Love and Joy and Peace and Hope of the Good News of Jesus, without unknowingly spreading a virus to those around us, and to protect those who are especially vulnerable?


On Friday I learned the limitations and restrictions my organization is taking. Like many others, suspending travel, postponing projects and conferences, limiting numbers of those that should gather at one time. For me personally the news means that I will not be travelling to Western Asia this summer as planned (a place I love with people I love). In addition, I was in the midst of planning and leading a conference for the spring that has now been cancelled, or postponed.


Sigh... So many cancellations, or postponements yet to be rescheduled. I understand and agree with these actions—I believe they are necessary and wise. In fact, because I currently live with my parents (who are 79 and 84) I have been choosing to stay in for the past week, and will continue to do so. But we have all gone through a bit of emotional and mental whiplash over the last couple weeks.

There are many losses and unknowns in this season. And I feel completely out of control, but then I realize that I was never actually IN control - my sense of 'control' is really only an illusion, right?! And all these losses and unknowns and lack of control brings grief. WE'RE GRIEVING. Our whole country, our world, is grieving. And you know what? It’s okay to grieve the things we are missing or longing for right now. It’s okay to be sad, angry, frustrated, confused, even scared. Jesus invites us to the throne to lay our whole selves at His feet, even our sad, disappointed, grieving, stressed out selves.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:38-29)

As you take care of your health in this season or take care of those around you, what are you doing to take care of your heart? How are you doing? What are you sad, angry or frustrated about? What are you learning? How are you clinging to the HOPE and PEACE promised in Jesus in the midst of the chaos? And what do you need (emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically) in the coming days and weeks?


As you care for your health and the health of those around you, I pray that you will have the space to also process all that you are experiencing internally. I pray that you will lean into Jesus with your whole self and hear from Jesus through this time. I know He wants to hear from you. He told us, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest..."

A Decade of the Unexpected...

Welcome January 2020. A new month. A new year. A new DECADE. Moving into a new calendar has a way of making us reminisce, look back over time. Recently I have seen countless Facebook and Instagram posts and pictures from the last 10 years, how life has changed – marriage, babies, relationships, jobs, moving, hair styles, etc. etc.

TIME. It changes us, right? Time heals all wounds? You just need time? No. Actually, time in and of itself does not change us. It does not automatically heal our wounds, mend our hearts, reconcile relationships, make things better, etc. Time is, however, a vessel through which change may occur. But we are not promised that change will be good change. The change we experience over time depends on how we steward that time. Do we lean into change and growth and healing, or do we run from it or sit idle, hoping that time in and of itself will make things better?

As I look back over the last decade, from January 2010 to today, I am beyond grateful for the change and growth that has taken place in my life, by the grace and mercy of Jesus. In some ways the last decade has flown by, and in other ways feels like a lifetime of growth and change…

I limped into January 2010 in a heart-broken place. I thought I would be entering the new year married, but I didn’t. The previous year I was in a relationship that we both thought was leading to engagement and marriage, but that all came to an end that summer. No engagement. No summer wedding planning. No fall wedding. Rather than celebrating what I thought would be my first Christmas and New Year married, I was grappling with my shattered dreams, a loss of a significant relationship, and fighting the acceptance of the ‘singleness’ status once again.

I knew in my head that God was still good and sovereign, but not in my heart. I was devastated. How could he do this? Much more, how could God do this? How could He bring me seemingly so close to engagement and marriage only to yank it away? And would I, could I, ever meet anyone again? I processed with dear friends. I went to counseling. I wept. I cried out to the Lord. I grieved…

Over time, as I leaned into Jesus and into my pain, my disappointments, my anger, my sadness, my fears, and as I allowed His truth and grace to permeate into my mind and heart, I began to experience the Lord’s deeper healing in my heart and in my life. I even began to look back and be grateful for the relationship and see the ending of the relationship as God’s GRACE to us both. I learned a deeper lesson about grief and how to grieve. I gained a greater empathy for those who go through broken relationships – dating, engagements, marriages. I began to see that I had placed this relationship as an idol in my life. And while I still desired marriage one day, in some ways marriage itself had become an idol – something I had to ‘achieve’ to feel accepted, valued, loved.

In the midst of grieving that relationship I stepped into a new leadership role in ministry. I thought it would be temporary, but as my heart began to heal, I experienced a new freedom in life, in ministry and in leadership. I was leading! I experienced it and others affirmed it. I didn’t understand how I could be leading in the midst of such personal pain and brokenness, but it was the beauty of Jesus’ light shining out of my broken jar of clay. The more broken the jar, the greater His light escapes through the cracks (2 Corinthians 4:6-7).


March 2013 I began this blog, starting with a 3-part post about Choosing to EMBRACE, GRIEVE and CELEBRATE Singleness – and people read it! And they liked it! Greater healing, growth, and freedom continued - emotionally, relationally, spiritually and physically. I even trained and completed my first duathlon that August in Indianapolis - something I never imagined doing before!  In fact, I have now completed that duathlon 4 times in the last 7 years. And when I was least expecting it, the Lord called me out of my stability of living with the same roommate in the same apartment and working in the same office of the previous 9 years. He called me out of the role I had come to enjoy and thrive in, the team and co-workers with whom I loved working. He called me out of the city I had called my home. And he called me back overseas to a place I once lived 10 years prior. I place that was dear to me, but was also ‘home’ to much health and emotional hardship.

January 2016 I stepped out of my leadership role in ministry, I packed up my belongings, and I headed back to Western Asia for a year of unknowns. It was a transforming year living once again in a place I lived 10 years earlier, but in a new way. I was healthier, stronger, more resilient. Maybe because I had learned the value of how to be broken and dependent. Don’t be mistaken – it was still hard! But it was also very sweet. And I have no regrets.

February 2017 I returned to the States and later that year stepped into a new leadership role in our ministry – a leadership role I never would have considered, but has been the exact place the Lord has called me to live out my calling for this time and place. And August 2019 I moved back ‘home’ to northeast Ohio, close to family, close to our family farm, to continue in this new role in ministry.

Friend, 'the Lord redeems the years the locusts have eaten' (Joel 2:25-27). I never would have fathomed that the Lord would take me back to Western Asia, or that I would have the opportunity to take students with me in the years following. I never imagined I would be that person along the road out running, biking, training for races and completing duathlons. I never imagined I would move back to northeast Ohio where I could see family on a regular basis, attend nieces and nephews music concerts and basketball and football games. And I never imagined I would be writing posts about broken relationships, singleness, the pain and joy in the journey.

As I look back over the last 10 years, it’s been a journey. A journey I never expected or ever imagined. This decade, Jesus has seen me through 7 moves (including 4 different roommates plus my parents), 2 states, 2 countries, countless hours in my car (the same one!) and miles in the skies, 4 more nieces and nephews, unexpected health scares and hospital visits with my parents, loss of a dear friend to cancer, 4 ministry role and team changes, leadership opportunities and challenges, broken relationships, new relationships and more.

Yes, there has been pain in the journey. There has been loss, grief, loneliness, countless change and transition. But there has also been joy in the journey. There has been healing, redemption and restoration of past pains, personal growth and greater freedom to live out who God has created and called me to be. So I’m grateful for the unexpected journey with Jesus of the last decade, and I can only look forward with hopeful anticipation of the next.

And so as I enter this next decade, whatever or whomever it brings, how I pray that I would run the race marked out for me, keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

AMEN.

Cultivating the Attitude of Gratitude

We’re coming up on Thanksgiving, which is a great time to stop and think about what we are thankful for. Learning the significance of cultivating the attitude of gratitude is one of the most important lessons I have learned, through seasons of both plenty and of want. In fact, did you know there is a connection between gratitude and mental health?! Psychology studies and science and are increasingly confirming the connection. But it shouldn’t be surprising to us. God’s Word commands, encourages and challenges us to be thankful multiple times!

"Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." Psalm 106:1

"be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:18b-20

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

So here are a just a few things I’m thankful for in this season!

I’m thankful for my family.

Moving back to northeast Ohio this fall and currently living with my parents has allowed me to see and spend more time with my family in simple day to day life. This fall I have attended football and basketball games and choir concerts for my nieces and nephews. I have spent many hours with my dad and brother in the barn or in the fields. My brother and I have even logged many miles on almost weekly bike rides this summer and fall! I am so grateful for a family that enjoys spending time together, that laughs together, but most of all, that loves Jesus and seeks to walk with Him and know Him more!

I’m thankful for God’s Word and the Holy Spirit who teaches and challenges me.

Last month I began a Gideon study by Priscilla Shirer. This small yet powerful story of Gideon is found in Judges 6-8. This has been timely in my life. I could write pages about what I am learning and how the Lord is using it in my life (but I won't). ;) I love how the Holy Spirit knows just what to teach and speak to me through God's Word at just the right time!

I’m thankful for God's creation and time on our family's farm.

In addition to more time with family, moving back to Northeast Ohio has allowed me extended time on our family's dairy farm where I was raised. I come alive outside in His creation; listening to the singing birds and rustling leaves, taking in the fresh air and feeling the warm sun, watching the dogs play and the cows graze in the pasture, and most recently taking in the brilliant changing colors and landscape of the trees. I even love the exertion of manual labor in the barn. Working on the farm might be physically tiring, but it also brings me life!

I’m thankful for many ministry opportunities.

The Lord has been so gracious to allow me to come alongside some incredible ministry leaders who have their 'boots on the ground' on college campuses and lead teams of precious staff and interns. It is such an honor and privilege for me to run with them. And He continues to give me opportunities to return to Western Asia, where I lived and served in the past. Not only do I get to return, but I get to take other staff and students with me and introduce them to this city and country and people that I dearly love! What an honor to be used in the stories that God is writing in the lives of others!

I’m thankful for friends and ministry partners!

I am beyond grateful so many dear friends and ministry partners, who partner with me through support and/or prayer along the way! The Lord has blessed me with a precious team of ministry partners, and I couldn't invest the best hours of my day in ministry the way that I do with them!

So how do you cultivate the attitude of gratitude? And what are you thankful for? I’d love to hear!

My 3 Favorite Books This Year...

I love learning!

BUT, I am not a fast reader. And reading at night has never really worked for me - I just turn the light out and go to sleep! I always have many more books that I WANT to read than I can possibly get through. Yet I value reading because I value learning new insights, stories, voices that are different from my own. So I have learned that I need to carve out time and prioritize reading.

Listening to books on an audio app on my phone has been a game changer for me! I spend a lot of time in the car, so listening to audio books is great! I can even listen while I am getting ready in the morning, walking outside, working out at the gym, cooking, cleaning. I have discovered it is a great substitute to just listening to music or leaving the TV on.

So as the weather turns colder and you cozy up with your favorite cup of coffee, tea or hot cider and a book, here are a few of my favorite books I read this year that I highly recommend!

12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You, by Tony Reinke

Our phones are changing us, it is true! And ironically, I LISTENED to this entire book ON MY PHONE! But I also bought the actual book because I thought it was that good. I knew my phone was changing me, but this book was a challenging reminder of how and why. This book doesn't just address WHAT I do on my phone, but also WHY. It gets at the heart of why I look at my phone frequently, why I can't wait to text someone back, why I post something on social media, and then keep checking for 'likes' or 'comments'. And if you are raising kids or teenagers in this digital world, this is a must read! Our phones are a great tool, an excellent resource to connecting with others and accessing information. But it's just a tool, and sometimes I allow that tool in my hands to steal from me the people and life and moments right before me. Even as I write this, I am thinking, it's time to read this book again!

The Church In Babylon: Heeding the Call to Be a Light in the Darkness

by Erwin Lutzer

I was encouraged, challenged...encouraged and challenged again! Erwin Lutzer compares the Church in America today to God's people living in Babylon, asking the question, "How do we live faithfully in a country becoming more and more hostile to our faith in Christ?" He points to examples of faithful God-fearing men and women in the time of Babylon like Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. He states in the first chapter, "Like Israel in Babylon, our challenge is to impact the culture without being spiritually destroyed by it." This book is a timely reminder to us as individual followers of Christ as well as for the church as a whole regarding our call to be sent into the world, to engage and impact the culture and world around us while standing firm in our faith.

A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, by W. Phillip Keller

Growing up on a farm, I love a book with plenty of farming or agricultural stories and analogies. This entire book is written from the perspective of a sheep farmer, looking at Psalm 23. As September approached I decided to read through the first 40 Psalms. When I came to the 23rd Psalm I began reading this book, which had been sitting in my book 'wish list' for years. The writer brings so much context to each line of this Psalm, pointing out that David was a shepherd and was likely thinking through much of this perspective as a shepherd himself when he wrote this Psalm. This is a short book, but each chapter had me meditating on my relationship with my Good Shepherd, grateful for how He leads me beside still waters, how He restores my soul, how He guides me through paths of righteousness, how He comforts me, how He prepares a table before me, and so much more!




And if I were to tack on a favorite Bible study this year...

Included in Christ: Living a New Story from Ephesians

by Heather Holleman

I already love the book of Ephesians, but I especially love how Heather Holleman brings Paul's writings to the church in Ephesus to life. She challenges us to see and write both our Shadow Narratives (who we used to be) and our Redemption Stories (who we are now)! This is a great study for individual or group Bible study use!

So what are your favorite books you read (or listened to!) this year? I would love to hear!

Linger and Listen...

Over two years ago I sensed the Lord calling me to be 'Full of Faith & Free from Fear', especially as I entered into the year of celebrating my 40th birthday. I had returned from a year overseas, a year that challenged me to deeper steps of faith, free from fear. 2017 unfolded to be a difficult year in many respects, facing changes, transitions and losses that were unexpected as I returned to the States.  I spent more time in the barn doing daily chores on our family's dairy farm that year than I ever have, which allowed for plenty of 'think' time. But as the year wore on, it was as if I kept hearing this soft and subtle whisper, "Listen" from the Lord, "Linger, and Listen".

My view on the farm where I spent many days reading
and listening to the Lord during my Sabbatical Fall 2017.

September 2017 I welcomed my first Sabbatical after 16 years in full-time ministry, and I was convicted by how busy and loud I tend to keep my life, whether working, talking to others, or on my computer or phone. Solitude is hard for me. Silence is not comfortable. But why?? I grew up the youngest of five on a dairy farm. Our house was always busy and often loud. I think I learned at a young age that 'she who speaks loudest, longest and most persistently wins!' Did I mention that I have 3 older sisters?! ;)

I have come to learn that I thrive in crazy and in chaos. It's 'normal' and 'comfortable' to me. Yet, every Sunday afternoon everyone in our house rested. I strongly disliked Sunday afternoons as a kid - I often remember my mom telling me I didn't have to take a nap, but I did have to find something quiet to do for the afternoon and not bother anyone. How I couldn't wait to hear the stirring of my mom or dad or someone in the house when they would get up from their Sunday nap!

Don't get me wrong, as an adult I LOVE a good nap! And I love some solid alone time (but not TOO much!). Yet even in solitude, I often stay 'busy'. It's hard for me to 'cease working'. There's a reason it took me 16 years in ministry before taking my first Sabbatical.

Even in conversations, my natural (usually unaware) tendency is that I am generally more likely to talk than to listen. The past several years I have asked the Lord to grow me in the area of being more 'verbally self-aware' because I have so often been told how I'm a 'talker' or not a great listener. Hearing how that affects others saddens me. But I struggled with how to change something that is second-nature and that I am often blind to until hindsight. I'm verbal, I'm a communicator (both written and verbal), I'm a relational extrovert. I  know these things about me and they are part of the way God in His Sovereignty and Goodness created me as His child!

But how do I maintain these things about me and use them for His glory without failing to provide a space to listen - to God and to others?  It's not that I intentionally talk as much as possible. But it is a lack of intentionality to listen. So as I came out of my Sabbatical that fall and entered into 2018, I asked the Lord to show me what it looks like to intentionally LINGER - rest, cease from work, maybe sit in His presence without words, and even take a Sunday nap without guilt. :)

I asked Him to teach me how to LISTEN, truly Listen, from the heart, to God and to others; not just listen from my head or my ears, but from my heart. I asked Him to quiet my mind so that I can make space to hear His voice, His words. And I asked Him to help me hear others, to know when to listen, when to share, when to ask questions and what questions to ask. I desire to learn how to listen, not just for my benefit of hearing and knowing information, but for others to have a safe place to share their story.

As a result, I wrote and posted a little less, and tried to read or listen a little more. It's amazing what you hear, from God, from His Word and from others, when you linger long enough to listen, really listen. I'm not saying I have arrived! I still battle the stirring drive to busyness, and frequent talking. Some days I'm a better listener than others. But I'm learning. I'm learning to linger in Jesus' presence. I'm learning to listen from my heart, to God and to others.

See you Later Friend...

Have you ever been stuck, but didn’t know you were stuck?  It’s like when you’re spinning your tires in the mud, but you don’t know it.  You go nowhere fast, just deeper, and dirtier, in the mud.  The last 18 months I’ve been stuck.  I didn’t know I was stuck, but I was.  18 months ago, June 17, 2017, Nancy Hertz Just met Jesus.  I lost a dear friend, but I somehow unknowingly failed to grieve her loss until it caught up with me these past few months.  Grief is a funny thing – often unexpected and unpredictable, almost always unwanted, and yet so needed and wholly cathartic.

This fall I found myself bursting into tears at unpredictable times, usually in my car or during powerful times of worship at church or in the middle of a conference, both angry and sad that she’s gone.  And I don't just mean a few tears, I mean an all out uncontrollable ugly cry at times.

I was out of the country at the time of Nancy's memorial service in August 2017 and not able to attend.  I always intended to sit down and watch it, and somehow, that day never came.  As I shared this with a friend recently, she gently looked at me and said, “Maybe you need to schedule a ‘grief day’.”  Hmmm…  I didn’t like the sound of that, but I knew it was necessary.

This past Monday was that day.  To be honest, on one hand I dreaded this day and on the other hand, anticipated it.  It felt like I was choosing to walk myself into a dark valley, not knowing what emotions or thoughts it would stir, or for how long.  And yet, I knew it was necessary to move forward.  I wasn't sure how else to process this grief, except to write my friend Nancy a much overdue letter.  I reminisced the 12 years of friendship the Lord gave me with this special friend and her family, and the countless memories mostly while baby-sitting their lively 4 kids, who have become like nieces and nephews to me.  They have become my family away from family over the years.

It was a gray, cloudy day outside, seemingly matching how I felt in my soul going into the day.  As the day wore on the rain slowly began to break through the clouds, as if reflecting the internal release of my soul and the tears down my face as I remembered, processed, grieved.  I laughed, cried and worshiped throughout the day as I typed.

At one point I watched a video of Nancy from November 2016 when she was honored at a conference.  At the time I was living overseas and watching the conference online, an 8 hour time zone difference away.  I was struggling with the fact that I was living overseas the year she was diagnosed with this ugly cancer, not able to be here, not knowing if I would see her again.  But then I heard her speak these words through tears,

“I know many of you guys have prayed that the Lord would heal me and that’s right and good and keep asking the Lord, but what I really really want is for the nations to be reached so that Jesus will come back so that we can all be together.  ‘Cause I’m pretty excited to see Him face to face and the only thing that would make it better is to see Him face to face with my husband and my children and all of you, so please go out there and reach the nations so that Jesus can come back.”

In that moment, it was as though she were reaching through the screen to the other side of the world and telling me to keep on keeping on, even though she was literally fighting for her life.  Her words continue to stick with me today, over 2 years later.  And by God's grace, He granted me opportunities to see and spend time with her in the months before He took her home.

I thought I processed her life, and her death.  But now that I look back over the last 18 months I realize that I was in denial over her loss in some ways because my day in and day out life didn’t initially change.  And there were regrets I wrestled with over the past year.  I wished I would have said “yes” to baby-sitting more often.  I wished I would have told her how much she and her open arms into their family meant to me.  I wanted to tell her good-bye, and yet when you’re praying for a miracle in your friend’s life, you don’t want every good-bye to be a heavy one and you don’t know which good-bye will be the last one.  So you tend to leave with "See you later friend."

But the beautiful thing about Nancy is that even if she were sitting in front of me right now and I said all these things to her, she would tell me that it's not "Good-bye", but it IS "See you later."  Nancy loved Jesus so much, she knew Him personally, and now she gets to be with Him...every...day...every...moment.

I cherish the memories friend.  I love you.  I miss you.  I’m so glad you’re fully healed and dancing in the presence of the King.  I look forward to joining you around the throne one day.

See you later friend,

Lisa

Meeting Jesus in Walmart...

"Guess I'll be having 'church' in Walmart this morning..." I text my sister.  It had been a frustrating 12 hours.  After spending most of the previous 3 months in Ohio I just returned back home to Indianapolis the evening prior.  As I was unpacking my car in the driveway I realized my back tire was flat...like, the-rim-was-sitting-on-the-driveway flat.  Great.  A flat tire.  I drove back Saturday evening so I could be back in time to go to church Sunday morning and the church picnic, and reconnect with church friends I had not seen all summer.  "No problem" I thought, "at least I'm not stranded on the road with a flat tire at 10pm.  My car is sitting in the driveway and I can go to bed.  I'll just call AAA in the morning, have them put my spare on and I'll be off to church.  I can deal with this tire thing on Monday.  No problem..."

After realizing my AAA membership had expired and restarting it online, I called AAA the next morning.  He would be at my house in 35 minutes...great, I can still make it to church on time.  I'll just spend a little time reading my Bible and drinking my coffee in the back yard until he comes.  He arrives as expected, but can't get my tire off (unfortunately I have been here before with this issue).  He kindly puts air in the tire so I can drive it somewhere to get it fixed.  Quick, who's open on a Sunday morning to fix tires??!  I remember there's a Walmart 5 minutes away with an auto center and I'm off.  Not how I envisioned this morning in my head, but I'll just be late to church.  "No problem??"

Thankfully they're open and not busy on a Sunday morning.  I'll grab a couple things and wait while they fix it.  Just as I'm grabbing a container of those small muffins that look too glistening to be edible I hear my name called to return to the Auto Center.  They got the tire off, but can't fix the flat.  But they can put a new tire on.  Quick decision making is not my forte, but I'm stuck.  I just want to get to church!  Yes, put the new tire on.  "This was not my plan for the morning..."

After grabbing a couple items I return to the waiting area.  I look at my phone...church is now 30 minutes in.  I'll probably miss the whole service; at least I'll make it for the lunch.  As I'm grumbling in my heart, sending texts, estimating what time I'll arrive, I'm also questionning why I even drove back to Indy last night.  I should have just stayed in Ohio for the evening and driven back on Sunday.  Then I hear the 'still small voice'...the daily Scripture on my phone's Bible app was still on my screen.  "This God - His way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him." (Psalm 18:30).  "This God - His way is perfect" I thought.

I take a deep breath, set down my phone, open my Bible to Psalms and begin to read, asking Him what He might have for me in this momentary inconvenience of a flat tire on a Sunday morning and having 'church' right there in the Auto Care waiting room of Walmart.  Why is it that a little thing like an unexpected flat tire can suddenly make me feel as though my entire day is ruined?  Why is an unexpected change in my expectations for my weekend, or just morning, cause for questionning my every decision?

Six days prior I had just led a devotional for a group of ministry team leaders, sharing with them what the Lord taught me over the course of the summer through the book of Jonah.  One of those lessons was His grace and compassion for the mariners who are on the ship with Jonah, the easily overlooked 'bystanders' in this story.  I had been asking the Lord to show me the 'easily overlooked bystanders', the 'mariners' in my life that are all too easy to blow right by because I am too focused on my own agenda or schedule or task.  Yet here I was once again paying no attention to those in front of and around me because my day had escaped from my plans, from my control (as if it was ever under my 'control'!).

"I need to be thankful" I thought.  I pulled out my journal and began to write each place that I could thank Him from the last 12 hours...

"Thank you that I made it home safely last night.  Thank you for AAA this morning.  Thank you for making it to Walmart, who was both close and open this morning.  Thank you for providing for me financially to purchase AAA online last night and a tire this morning.  Thank you in advance for this day..."

I had 'church' in Walmart.  Jesus met me there, in the midst of the everyday, in the midst of my self-centeredness and my desire for control.

Oh, and I did make it to lunch and it was a beautiful Sabbath day.  It wasn't the day I planned, but His ways are perfect, not mine.