Thinking about Singleness...Choosing to Celebrate

This is the third post in a 3 part series on "Thinking about Singleness..."

My intent was to write this 3rd post on singleness 3 months ago following the first two, but it seemed I kept putting it off. I began to realize how easily the first two came - it was easy to write about Choosing to Embrace and Choosing to Grieve singleness. But choosing to celebrate, rejoice and/or be thankful for singleness? This one is much easier said than done, depending on the day or moment.

Naturally there are days or times when I very readily celebrate or rejoice in my singleness - usually over the freedoms or independence I know I have compared to others. But of course there are many days when rejoicing over my singleness is the last thing I would desire to do. Yet regardless of my momentary feelings, I know that choosing to celebrate my singleness (if only by faith) is both what I am called to do and what I need to do. And this is for my good and for God's glory.

So what exactly do I have to celebrate? And how do I celebrate in my singleness even when I do not feel like it?

I have much to celebrate, much for which to be grateful. I have freedoms and an independence that those who are married and/or parents simply do not have due to the reality of their circumstances. I can essentially do what I want, when I want to do it (within some limits obviously). Outside of the commitments and requirements of my job, I can choose how I spend my 'off' hours – my evenings, weekends, holidays. I can choose what other things to commit to (church, friends, social events). I can choose whether or not to sleep in on a Saturday morning without worrying about getting up and getting some time to myself before the kids are up! I can take a nap without first making sure the 2 year old is napping too - or worried about what the 2 year old might do while I’m napping! ;)

I have energy and time to do things that I know my friends who are moms or dads simply do not have due to the time and energy required to be a parent. I can stay late at work if needed. I can schedule time with friends in the evenings without first clearing it with my spouse or making sure someone else can take care of the kids while I’m away.

I can also focus my energies fully on the work to which God has called me. I can spend time and energy on serving others, sacrificing my time for the sake of others, investing in my friendships, and in other single women and helping them grow closer to Jesus.

I also have cause to celebrate knowing that I have not settled for someone who was not God’s best for me. I am not in an unhappy marriage or walking through the devastating experience of a broken marriage or divorce. While I clearly grieve with my friends who have or are walking through such difficult circumstances, in some ways I can also thank God that I have not walked that road and ask Him to give me the strength to wait patiently for His perfect timing and for the one He has chosen for me.

But how do I choose to rejoice or celebrate when I don’t feel like it? What about those days when I have a response to every one of these reasons I have just listed that are ‘cause to celebrate’? What about the days when I would rather want a reason to leave work by 5:00 because someone at home is expecting to have dinner with me, rather than having the freedom to stay later? What about the afternoons when I would rather play and care for a child of my own than take a nap or watch TV? What about the days that I want 'the work God has called me to' to include loving, serving, cooking for a husband and caring for and raising children? How do I celebrate singleness in those times when I feel like I’m barely embracing it, and definitely grieving the things I so long for?

I choose to celebrate, I choose to rejoice in my singleness BY FAITH. Ok, I know, that’s the ‘Sunday School’ answer. But hear me out…

For those who have made a decision to follow Jesus, who have believed the truths of His death and resurrection and accepted the penalty He paid for our sins, do we not choose to EMBRACE the fact that He is the only One who can who can save us and set us free?  And don't we GRIEVE what He had to endure for our sakes? Yet we also rejoice and CELEBRATE what He did and what it means in our lives!

When it comes to the Good News of Jesus, we must EMBRACE the reality of our fallen condition and the fact that we could not save ourselves even if we wanted to, no matter how hard we tried. We choose to accept the fact that Jesus was and is the only way to God, that He died for our sins, and through Him we can have a relationship with God and spend eternity with Him. To deny either of those realities would keep us from salvation and a relationship with the Living God.

But we also GRIEVE our sin and what He endured for us. We recognize that He experienced such physical and emotional pain, temptations, trials, rejection, even to the point of a brutal death on a cross, for our sins. At times the reality and gravity of those truths can bring us to tears. Jesus grieved the cross, even asking the Father the night before his crucifixion that this ‘cup might pass from Him’. And God the Father grieved to turn His face from His Son when Jesus took our sins upon Himself. Clearly, there is great grief in the cross.

But there is much cause to rejoice and CELEBRATE in the resurrection. The hope of the Gospel is that Jesus did not stay dead – death did not have victory, but Jesus did. Jesus beat death itself, coming back to life, and bringing eternal life to all who believe in Him!  How can we not choose to celebrate this?!

And so we see in the Good News of Jesus how we choose to embrace the realities and truths before us; we choose to grieve the way of the cross, the suffering and death of Jesus; and yet we also choose to celebrate His resurrection and life. There are times that we may fail to believe or embrace the truths of the Gospel, and we must claim them purely by FAITH. There are times that we do not want to face our sin, but we ask God for the courage to face into it, and grieve how it not only hurts the Lord, but also ourselves and those around us. And there are times that we do not feel like rejoicing or celebrating our relationship with God, but by FAITH we claim the truths of God and press forward.

Similarly, I seek to follow the way of the cross of Christ in my journey of singleness. I choose to EMBRACE the realities and truths before me of my singleness. I choose to GRIEVE the unmet longings as a result of my singleness. And I choose to CELEBRATE and rejoice in my singleness as a gift from God, in His wisdom and sovereignty and goodness.

I must remember that His timing is perfect, even (or especially) when it's hard. He hasn’t forgotten about me, I haven't done something wrong, I didn’t ‘miss the boat’ of marriage. By faith, I must fight the lies, claim the truths of God and press forward, making the most of every moment of this gift of singleness!